(Sub)Total Recall: Kickoff Weekend in Vegas!
It’s a strange and hard to nail down feeling that stays with you the week after returning from Las Vegas.
Whether you won big or were a financial human sacrifice, it cares not.
By your fourth day in Sin City, you may begin to wonder if your filters are still working properly.
If you are looking to learn something from an article, this one can be skipped. This is more of a time capsule memory so when I’m celebrating my 111th birthday, I can look back and say, “That was how life presented itself back when I won my very first FFPC Main Event!”
Like a college kid who just moved away from home for the first time, “the rules” no longer apply. A corrupting inner voice tells you “We’re in Vegas now…” followed by the urge to replace your morning alarm, coffee and bagel with extra sleep and a 9 a.m. cocktail.
I admit, it makes for a far more interesting day, but it can sure truncate your energy levels come nightfall.
A well timed “Nap, on two!” audible at the line of scrimmage can work wonders. Hitting the lounge chairs at the pool (when you can find one open) can also work, but those were nowhere to be found this weekend.
Food: A critical ally at staving off the worst of post-Vegas life.
With some of the best restaurants on the planet and hundreds of options within a few minutes of walking, for some reason hunger gets its ass kicked every year in the battle for my attention.
Whatever that decimated feeling is, some combination of malnutrition, sleep deprivation, missing home, getting slaughtered, reality popping its head up and peaking at you from behind your wall of lies… whatever it is, let’s just call it Post-Vegas Syndrome.
The only thing good about PVS is a return to home, health and good habits can eliminate it after say, five-to-seven days.
Here we are, eight days after returning, and I’m finally ready to attempt a Total Recall on what went down.
First stop. “One of those large Hefeweizen’s, please.”
Traveling with friends and family rocks.
Traveling alone isn’t so bad either. More strangers seem to think someone rolling solo is much more approachable, so you end up in cool conversations you may have missed out on otherwise.
Being one of the last of the dying flip-phoners may also factor in, as I am 100% offline the moment that taxi rings me that it’s outside waiting.
Short goodbyes to a family preparing for work and school on a crisp Thursday morning in the Bay Area, the taxi driver to SFO was a middle aged man of Chinese descent who was well versed in sports gambling. He knew the lines and all of the NFL matchups, and had the radio tuned to our local KNBR sports channel. Nice start to a very sports gambling type of weekend!
Every year has many lessons to teach, and one from 2017’s trip to Vegas was “Never, EVER, book a flight so early that they don’t serve beers at the airport yet.”
Settled on that post-traffic 11-11:30am departure time both leaving and coming home. Early enough to get there with time to spare, and late enough to do all packing and prep that very same morning.
Gone are the days of having to pack a full set of fancy clothes and shoes needed to enter any Vegas club scene. The forecast looked like 104 degrees or so the entire time there, so shorts, shirts & sandals it is! I figure if I happened upon a can’t miss invite to bottle service or the like, I could easily buy a set of dress-code passing clothes at one of the many shops sprinkled all around Vegas.
Not one to scare easily, I’ve read enough about airport security to feel comfortable assimilating my California lifestyle to the new and improved Nevada. You would be surprised how much can fit into an old camera film container when you grind and pack it down using the end of a lighter! A little folded wax paper for good luck (as a buffer) before closing the lid and tossing it into a leather Dopp Kit alongside all of the travel toiletries (and a Pax).
Not a big fan of the trend toward less humans and more kiosks when checking in, tagging luggage, etc.
I figure the $25 charge for a checked bag is kind of worth it when you can toss a boxed bottle of The Maccallan in amongst your clothes and avoid paying the taxi to wait outside a liquor store in route to your hotel, where they will get that same $25 out of you by charging $84 for that bottle you got for $56 here.
Not having to sweat out the carry-on scanning process: PRICELESS.
Checkpoint crossed, time to sit down and enjoy an extra tall Hefeweizen or two while burning through the remaining minutes until boarding.
I moved over a seat at the bar so two extra-large dudes of Polynesian descent could sit down. They looked surprisingly awake after a 14+ hour flight and were enjoying a beer during their San Francisco stopover en route from Australia to Alaska. TV’s had Sportcenter on and we shot the shit about (you guessed it) Fantasy Football! They both play, and were impressed at the entry fee and wanted to pick my brain about the Cowboys and Rams. Cool guys.
Smooth and on time flight.
That tiniest of tiny worry disappeared when my bag came falling onto the baggage carousel.
WHOOSH. The automatic doors open for that first taste of Vegas heat after a few hours in controlled temps. Love it!
Taxi driver to Planet Hollywood was of European descent and looked like he could have walked off the set of Easy Rider. Skinny and street smart, with a thinning long white pony tail and sunglasses. He broke the news of Burt Reynold’s passing, then casually asked if I’d like to hit “a dispensary” on the way in, but I told him I was good.
Early check in: SUCCESS!
Plenty of advertising for who was performing, with Jennifer Lopez, Gwen Stefani and the Backstreet Boys plastered on elevator doors, elevator monitors and room key cards.
Weird having to push the POOL button in the elevator to get to the 6th floor. Even weirder when I open the curtains in my room to see people walking by right outside my window at the same level, like on the ground floor of a motel. Trippy. Less weird when some nice looking woman was giving surfing lessons on that Flow Rider deal directly in view.
I arrived first, and had two buddies flying in later that evening, so I was free to roam…and roaming non-sober in Vegas is my forte!
This attraction was right outside the room. So close there was water splash on the window.
Short walk to the pool, elevator and ice machine was a plus.
Uncorked the Maccallan and poured out a glass, self-toasting another safe trip to Las Vegas!
First things first was to get a bet in prior to kickoff.
Not really having a strong vibe one way or the other, I decided to keep the tradition alive of “starting a cash snowball” by betting on the Thursday Night Kickoff game between the Superbowl Champion Eagles and the Atlanta Falcons. If I win, I roll it all onto the next bet, hoping for three straight wins.
I figured Atlanta would be pissed after getting knocked out of the playoffs by Philadelphia, and the Eagles seemed beaten up a bit health-wise. Once I started asking around at who other people were betting, like a scene from the movie Let it Ride, I knew I was toast. EVERYONE was betting Atlanta, and just like that I knew I had burned through my first $700.
Turning my complementary drink tickets into four beers, I finally felt like I was truly on vacation. Great feeling.
LOVE the perks of staying in the host hotel for the FFPC events. That was another lesson learned from last year.
Being able to walk 100 feet, push the Mezzanine button on the south tower elevator, and have it open up just yards away from the FFPC Kickoff Party entrance was too sweet!
So many familiar faces. Far too many to name, and far too hard to name error-free!
A yearly migration since 2002, it truly feels like an old friend reunion. Awesome!
I should have taken a seat next to the Wisconsin Boys, or sat down next to David Hubbard and tried to pick his brain, but felt I was in no shape for that at the moment.
Too excited to sit, I went with standing.
The lights dim, the TV sounds come alive. The moment has finally arrived: Regular Season NFL FOOTBALL!!!
A round of drinks on me!
In a prepubescent crackling Tom Brady war cry: “LET’S GOooOOOoooOOoooOOO!!!”
The game itself was in doubt until the very end, giving all bettors plenty of that dramatic juice that has been missing since the Superbowl.
Memory flashes:
Myatt exhaling a giant cloud of smoke and coughing extra EXTRA head-turning loud.
Buddies show up around halftime and keep asking me “what’s wrong with him?” re: Myatt as he gets into WWE wrestling match with Rob Stark! (Fantasyland Patrick) plus Petyr and Pat with his Jon Snow doo!
Myatt’s father “Nam” (as in Special Forces back in the Nam) wondering where his son went.
Hats were falling.
Full non-sobriety reached, money burned, football back…Life is GOOD!
Pool scene was similar (80%) to this. Full seating, Live D.J., fun crowd.
Friday Draft Day!
My draft wasn’t until 6pm, so we decided to meet around 11am and hit the pool hard!
The night before, I recall we ended up on a long ass walk-mission to buy cologne. We finally figured out how to get to the Caesars Palace Forum shops and guessed wrong and went left instead of right (dead end), and ran out of time before they closed at 11pm.
I was still on that same mission the next morning and went the correct way this time, found Creed and thankfully they were open early, so I got some Aventus, which rocks! I needed that and a new lucky cream colored Tommy Bahama shirt (and this ashtray and this lamp, and that’s all I need) from those Miracle Mile shops to match my FFPC hat for just the right draft vibes to be complete.
We had a bite to eat, bought some booze from CVS, pre-gamed a bit, then went over to the pool.
We tried both sides, but no seating was available at all. Found some open ones away from the pool over in the shade (which was still hot, but nice) and ordered slushy poolside cocktails. (a must!)
Too hot not to, we tossed our gear on some rock and went in.
More slushy drinks as we wade around and listen to cool old-school beats mixed in with new by the live DJ there. Nice selection.
Played Beachball Volleyball, trying to see how many hits we could get in a row. Pretty large crowd joined in the fun. I think 14 in a row was the best we did before someone would spike it.
More slushy drinks, then trips to the room to sneak in the beers we had there. Tossing em like grenades into the pool, followed by opening them to overflowing head.
I failed to recognize any fellow FFPC players around the pool, but did recognize the woman from Dynasty Football Factory. Yup.
Eventually time became a factor (along with the 107 degree heat and Canadian dentists) and it was time to prepare for drafting.
All cleaned up and ready, prepped to the hilt in all manners, I grabbed Lougie Furby Jr. (a stuffed Totoro, my good luck charm) and bid adieu to my buds Rob and Robbie until after the draft.
The Enemies. ;-) Lougie Furby Jr. manning seat two. Yo Shelly and Glenn!
FFPC Main Event Draft!
I arrived with plenty of time to spare and a glass so full of Maccallan, it was hard to keep from spilling as I walked.
Cheat sheet in tow and most importantly those reading spectacles. Forgetting those are what bad dreams are made of.
I had my plan and a few counterplans ready despite my reasonable departure from sobriety by this hour.
Pregame done with class by Alex, and away we go!
Ever so slightly surprised by Pick One selecting Ezekiel Elliott (my first choice), I went with my second choice of Sir David Johnson. Team Three snap-called Todd Gurley and almost jumped for joy. Le’Veon fell all the way to Team Twelve, but no further.
Coming back to me in the second round, I drafted Reek Hill at 2.11 and when Team One tripled down on RB leaving me Travis Kelce…OPERATION CHIEF SHEET was mobilized.
Feeling the wide receivers on my list looked strongest, I doubled up and drafted Flash Gordon and Corey Davis with my 4th and 5th round picks.
Having drafted a bunch of Footballguys Online teams throughout the offseason, I had a good feeling for when players were getting drafted. That said, I also know that this is the FFPC Main Event, and if there is one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that players will “get their guys” even if it means reaching two or three rounds to do so.
They do it, and so do I.
Being higher than most in general, I’m also higher on Rashaad Penny than most, and drafted he and Sammy Watkins in the 6th and 7th. OPERATION CHIEF SHEET: LEVEL 3!
Feeling very light at running back, in the 8th and 9th rounds I drafted the Jones Boys (Aaron and Ronald).
Our “Snooki” league was pacing the entire live event, and we got the round of applause for being the first league to get to the halfway point completing ten rounds of drafting.
With my 10th and 11th round picks I went with DJ Moore and my man Patrick Mahomes! I was prepared to take him as high as the eighth round (with the drafting of Drew Brees being my personal alarm to draft Mahomes) if quarterbacks were flying off the board, but this was a very veteran league and we all waited on QB like good girls and boys. OPERATION CHIEF SHEET: LOCK DOWN!
We were so fast, the food wasn’t ready to serve yet, so we plugged away and finished another round or so before the whistle blew for halftime highlights!
Terp! We dance week 10.
A fresh handful of beers and a plate of hot food, and we were back in action for the money rounds!
Hitting a lull in my cheat sheet, I decided to veer off course and draft a defense on the higher side, snagging the Rams defense in the 12th, followed by an attempt to fill my week 12 QB (The dreaded Chiefs BYE week) slot with Jameis Winston in the 13th.
Trying to fill out my bench with interesting talent and untapped upside I decided on DeVante Parker, Dallas Goedert and James Washington in the 14th, 15th and 16th rounds.
In the 17th I took a shot on the NFL return of Dez Bryant at some point in the near future.
OPERATION CHIEF SHEET: COMPLETE with the drafting of Harrison Butker in the 18th round.
In a rare (for me) move, I drafted my own handcuff, backing David Johnson with Chase Edmonds.
In the final round I went with Kenneth Dixon to close out the 20th round of the 2018 FFPC Main Event Draft!
Always draft a throw player for waivers.
So there she is. TEAM 2.
Isn’t she a beaut!
Friday night FFPC “Snooki” Main Event draft board. Team 2 looking to take all the monies!
Spent some time post-draft mingling a bit, checking out the other league boards.
Always so much variance to where some players go from league to league. Fun to just scan boards, ponder, and then dump it all off into the old subconscious that doesn’t miss a thing. Let it grind on all of those colored stickers while I focus on a roulette wheel.
By now I have been setting personal bests for steps walked since last year in Vegas, followed by hitting the pool scene about as hard as one can when they have a draft that night.
Non-stop drinking (plus) and drafting since the pool, and here we are on a Friday night in Las Vegas that is just getting started for those taxiing and Ubering up to valet and just checking in now.
Decided to meet up with Fantasyland Bros. Petyr and Rob Stark for a friendly game of Beer Pong over at Blondies.
In my mind, it felt late, but for Vegas it must have been early, as folks were eating and the Beer Pong tables were open for business.
We lucked into a win first game, but they came back like hustlers and won the second.
All of a sudden all of the drinking since 10am or so caught up with me.
My jaw wouldn’t stop yawning, and the music they were playing had me going comatose.
I apologized to Peter and Pat for being such a dud, but my entire body and mind had one goal…to find out how soft the pillow in my room was.
Maybe if we were out on the strip in that wild busy atmosphere, I may have caught a second wind, but I never found out, as I beelined to my room and was out cold shortly thereafter, dreaming of what could be for my new squad of mercinaries.
Strip walking with the Rob Bros. in absolutely perfect Vegas weather (104-107 degrees, no wind) all weekend.
Unsure of what time I went to bed, I’d guess it must have been before 11pm based on how fresh I felt waking up on that fine Saturday morning.
I recall the Rob Brothers partied on the night before in my stead, getting in shortly after 2am if my snap glance at the room clock as I rolled over was accurate.
Big Rob is a beast! He can party hard, yet still rise and shine and hit the hotel gym for a workout like it’s no big thing. Awesome!
I recall getting a solid belly laugh in after learning the term “Dutch Oven.”
I decided to enter the SuperContest hosted by the Westgate, so I cleaned up and took a taxi there.
Once again, just amazing morning weather made even more amazing by a couple pulls on the Pax.
I made the gigantic mistake of forgetting my reading glasses in the room, so I had to lay all of the legal contracts and such way out in front of me on a table or on the floor and squint like hell to make out the words. Somehow I survived all the hoop jumping and signed up with a proxy service and made my five picks before taxiing back.
Back to the room and what do you know, the clock struck Beer-30! We got goofy and needed to find out how easily it was to see into our room for all of those people right outside, so Rob went into the pool area and walked right up to our window and looked it.
I could tell he couldn’t see me as he was looking in nonsensical directions trying to spot movement.
When he couldn’t hear me laughing my ass off or see me fake spanking, I knew we at least had some privacy. Ha!!!
Spent some time reveling in my new squad, dreaming $250K dreams.
After growing tired of the Pax, I wanted the real deal, proceeding to hack away at a Lagunitas can with the sharp end of my tweezers, creating a temporary docking station for full exhaling bliss! We got a smoking room for a reason, damn it. ;-) Ahhhhhhhhh.
I went over and checked in on how the Saturday afternoon FFPC drafts were going. Nice turnout.
Quite non-sober, I remember passing by some familiar faces, then…like a broken or drunk Terminator…the faces and names with that blurring digital effect had a delayed MATCH!
I turned around and walked back and got to introduce myself to Arbourpro’s Derek Pierson and C.J. TheSeige. That was cool.
I recall rolling to the pool area solo, and once again it was standing room only. Listening to the D.J. and sipping a cocktail for a while, I declined to jump in this time, instead just smiling poolside and letting the Durban Poison work its magic.
104 degrees. Laughter and beats. Clear blue sky.
Life is good.
Worth the trek! BBQ Short Rib & Pulled Pork delight at Gilley’s Saloon near Treasure Island.
For an early dinner we were all craving good BBQ, and decided on Gilley’s Saloon as the target.
Another long ass walk in that Vegas heat had the hunger built up strong.
Their Short Rib was excellent, and the Pulled Pork looked just as good.
Couldn’t even finish it all, so we doggie bagged the rest and headed home.
I do recall winning a bit on craps and roulette at some point, and woke up with a pocket full of casino chips.
That was the extent of my winning, as I tried to send out another snowball on NCAA Football, but once again, came up empty, failing to hit on an over bet.
Plenty of eating, drinking and partying on this “off day” in the schedule. No plans, just winging it Vegas style.
I recall seeing an influx of Bachelorette Party groups left and right that Saturday. Like they were shipping them in on buses. Nice!
I recall walking the strip with the Rob Bros. all over the place. Seeing the full spectrum of Vegas street life. From Show Girls looking for photo ops, to water selling hustlers. From the hottest women you can imagine, to dregs wandering the streets looking for something they may never find. The dichotomy of Vegas. The full spectrum of success and failure intermingled on every square block.
Unsure how or when I made it back to my room, but the JLo room key got me home. I’m always impressed with the survival instincts that allow you to remember your hotel and room number after so much partying. Also impressed by how nice JLo still looks. Hell, she’s my age.
Sunday Game Day Bliss! All of your fantasy toy soldiers in action!
This morning it was quite a bit more difficult to get moving.
That Day Four thing again.
Said my goodbyes to Robbie, as he had an early flight home, and Big Rob was planning on sticking around for the early games before his flight left.
Being in the running for my favorite day of each year didn’t help me get showered and ready in time to beat the dreaded Sportsbook line.
By the time I got down there around 9am, the line was almost out of the building and into the sunshine! DAMN!
I cannot recall seeing a longer line.
I waited for around 15 minutes to see how far the line moved (around 20 feet), then asked a guy to hold my place as I walked out the next 15 minutes worth of line, then the next, and the next. I figured if the line moved at the current rate I would be at least 40 minutes short of making it to the teller, so I thanked the guy and bailed out (as did he and his buddies) and crossed off all of my 10am game picks.
Bummer.
That gave me a moment to regroup and think out how I’d attack the 1pm games.
I decided to go big or go home (broke) and got back into a non-existent line just after kickoff and rocked a three team parlay for $600 that had KC Moneyline (CHIEF SHEET!) to the under on the DAL/CAR game, to the (ouch) Cardinals.
Damn. Would have paid out over $5K had it hit, but Arizona (and my first pick Sir David Johnson) looked like shit, leaving me no hope for a backdoor cover. Double damn.
At least the CHIEF SHEET was rolling strong from what I could see from my standing room only armrest outside the filled to capacity Extra Lounge. Got to chat a little with Peter Parker, but never ran into Manz this weekend…damn it. Maybe next year. :-)
Bought a round for two cigar smoking neighbors near the lounge, and was politely joining in on their conversation about how getting old sucks and having to wake up at night to piss. I said “Hey, I have a friend like that! That must suck.” Then BOOM…guess who was standing right next to me out of the blue without me noticing. “Thanks for talking shit about me, Lance.” He jokingly poked. “I was just trying to add to their conversation, Rob.” I explained.
“Cheers!” Clink! “It’s all good!” Old buds.
Rob soon left for the airport and it was time to eat.
And eat I did.
I recall sitting down for a full dinner meal, then ending up in my room with the munchies, polishing off the BBQ doggie bag, then going down and ordering a Fish Taco’s meal from Yolo’s “to go” and brought it up to my room to eat during the Sunday Night game.
The loss took the wind out of my sportsbetting, as the wallet didn’t have enough paper to get too excited about, even though everything inside me said to go bet the second half Packers after a horrible start.
I had reached Vegas Lock.
No more walking. Time to chill.
Sometimes you just need to take your lumps, and I missed out on a winning bet when Aaron Rogers limped his way into history.
Early morning shadows looked similar to this.
Monday morning.
I recall being impressed by the new (to me) host on that ESPN fantasy show that looked like a mixture of my wife and Salma Hayek.
I’ll be home soon.
Once again, less humans, more computers as I self checked out using the rooms remote control.
Leave the key in the room my ass…I need a $2K souvenir!
Cleaned up, swept the room and packed up all of my gear.
Cashed in the casino chips and bought some keepsakes and souvenir clothing to bring to the wife and kids.
Decided not to dump my remaining supply, and being exhausted, just packed everything the same way it was on the way in.
Halfway to the airport, my spider senses tingled, reminding me of the three dress shirts I left hanging up in that closet-like cabinet, including my brand new lucky one!
Shit. The casualties of war.
Back home to a much chillier 60-something degrees and a full day of work scheduled for the following morning that I was dreading big time in my current state. Time to man up and get back to reality.
A Double Dose of Monday Night Football in the comfort of my own home would be my final diversion.
Sitting on a comfortable lead in the main event after sweating the first MNF game with my opponent having Stafford and Tate and their garbage time. My smile disintegrated into panic as my opponent Shelly Fossom got catch after catch from of all people, TE Jared motherfucking Cook! Are you kidding me? I’m going to lose week one thanks to an inept Oakland offense getting their asses kicked and loading Cook’s plate with 9 receptions and 180 yards receiving??? A 31.50 score from He Went to Jared??? NOOOOO!
Then…when all hope was lost…(while rubbing Lougie Firby Jr. between the ears for good luck) …MAGIC HAPPENS!
Skittles me THIS!
Inside of the two minute warning, still throwing in a blowout.
David Carr back to pass, intended once again for Jared Cook…INTERCEPTED by Marcus Peters…TOUCHDOWN!!!
RAMS DEFENSE!!!
Are you kidding me???
Then even in total defeat, Cook pulled in another catch for 27 yards.
END GAME.
OHHHH SHIT.
Had that last reception gone for one more yard, we would have tied.
Two more yards, and I’d be losing.
Time to sweat out an entire week of potential score corrections.
Finally, on Friday night when scores become officially official, I got to fully enjoy my 149.90 to 149.80 absolute demolition of my week one opponent!
STEAM ROLLER!!!
WOW!
Off to a very rare (for me) 1-0 start to my 2018 FFPC Main Event.
Feels so good.
I also managed a decent day in the SuperContest, only losing once, with three wins and a tie. (3-1-1)
After contacting their Lost and Found, like five days later they texted me letting me know they had my three dress shirts and for $23 would ship them home to me! SCORE!!!
Week two of my CHIEF SHEET went better than week one, and my FFPC ME team is off to a magical 2-0 start!
I’m so recovered now, I feel I could almost run it back!
Almost.
Ahh Vegas, you fucking rock.
See you next year!
YOUR 2018 FFPC MAIN EVENT CHAMPION SIGNAL FOCUSED TEAM!!!
That’s a little taste of one man’s recollection of surviving another trip to the Fabulous Las Vegas for the FFPC Main Event and NFL Kickoff Weekend.
So many fun people.
So much non-stop action.
A special Thank You to Chrissy (and Rock Star daughter Courtney), Dave, Alex, Balky and all of the veteran players who make the annual migration so special.
Cross it off your Bucket List as soon as you can! It’s even better when you are young!
You will not regret it.
Hope you enjoyed.